Spooky Scary Skeleton
by in the eyes of the beholder
Summary: sometimes they send shivers down your spine. Other times you wish they still had a neck for you to throttle!


I don't own HP

Xx

Harry's bones shivered as a blast of winter air blew in from the window on the other side of his study. Groggily he sat up from his bed and wrapped his comfitter a bit tighter around his skeletal frame. It was cold that morning and cold mornings made his ribs itch. Gingerly he sat his foot down on the stone floor and hissed at the contact. Mornings like this really made him wish he still had skin and fat to at least provide some protection from the elements. With a bit of magic and wave of his boney hand his favorite pair of fuzzy pink slippers zoomed across his bedroom and right on to his awaiting feet. That dealt with he stood up and made his way to the offending window and closed it with a resounding slam. A flick of his wrist later and the window permanently stuck shut.

With the annoyance of the window out of the way he chucked his comforter back on his bed. The room was still cold however and it sent an uncomfortable rattle through his bones. Throwing on his heavy neon green robe he headed towards his kitchenette began to make his morning cup of tea. Sure he didn't have a stomach anymore or taste buds for that matter, but he was still considered himself a true brit… even if britain didn't technically exist anymore, and what true brit doesn't enjoy a nice cup of tea in the morning.

Tea in hand Harry made his way towards his favorite armchair by the fireplace. With nary a thought the hearth burst to life as he sat down in front of it. Letting the warmth wash over him he took a sip from his favorite "best great great great great grandad" mug and let the warmth of the liquid warm his chilly pelvis and the liquid poured through his jaw and down his hollow middle. With a sigh and sound like two concrete blocks scraping against each other he reached down and pulled out his knitting needles before continuing work on his latest pair of baby blue socks. Dumbledoor may have been as mad as a hatter on a good day but at least the man had been right about one thing. 'One could never have enough socks.'

A few hours later, almost like clockwork, Harry felt the wards around the castle go off with a quiet buzzing sound. If he had lips he would have smiled. The latest group of 'adventures' had arrived at Hogwarts front gate and began making their way through his merger defenses. With a chuckle and exertion of power he took control of the proxy he had set up in the old great hall. Gazing around fondly at the wrecked tables and broken hourglasses he absentmindedly brushed a cobweb off his stand-in and waited for the inevitable arrival of the 'heros.'

Suddenly the door flew open as the 'heros' rushed inside. Their leader, a blond chap who Harry couldn't bother to remember the name of, strode arrogantly into the room. Metal armor gleaming and "holy" sword held aloft in one hand. He was flanked by what looked like a priestess in tattered robes and some type of lowly sorcerer if the pointy hat was anything to go bye. Truth be told he never understood the pointy hat even when it was fashionable in his youth.

The knight, or paladin or whatever he self identified as, pointed his sword at the boney body of Harry's proxy. "We have you now Hadrian! There's nowhere left to run."

"Fools!" the dark lord 'Hadrian' said as he stood with a well practiced flourish. If he ever met snape again he's have to thank the man for giving him something so comically evil. "Is it you that has me surrounded or is it _I _who have _you _surrounded!" and then he laughed his evil laugh that he stole from skeletor. Oh! He should really think about rewatching some of his old television memories. He-Man was such a good show! Anyway, with a swope of his mighty staff the minions he had strategically placed around the room began to rise from their resting places. Just a few basic skeletons and a ghoul with a bit of chain mail. Nothing really to hard but not too challenging either. With his minions and the adventures having their little skirmish all he had to do now was to sit back, relax and throw out the occasional ball of fire. This was only the groups second adventure after all. It wouldn't do to have them dying so soon.

All in all, Harry would say he had a good if a bit boring life. The whole 'Hadrian' thing had been an actual name he went by for a few centuries back in, he wanted to say his early two sixties. Back when he wanted to give the whole dark lord thing the old college try. It had worked fine for awhile, coupled that with the fact he wasn't aging, his friends and their children were dead, and he wasn't what you'd call the sainest human alive made him a pretty good dark lord. Hell 'Hadrian' had even accomplished what volg… vlad… yorg? Well, whatever his name was, had never accomplished _and _managed to subjugate the whole of britain and most of europe. Take that whatever your name was! Who's the greatest wizard who ever lived now? That's right, it was Harry!

Just as one of the skeletons was about to strike down the priestess he made it pause. Giving the adventurer with a sword just enough time to strike it down. Good, things were going just as planned if the infatuated look the priestess was giving her companion was anything to go by. To bad about the sorcerer though he was struck down ghoul. He wasn't important anyway. No, the priestess and the, knight... paladin… whatever he was, were important. Well not them specifically but their great-great-something-grandchild was the important bit. Yes, he had seen it in a bit of scrying he did a few years back. If he pushed these two together he'd be able to get a really good deal on a new castle in a few centuries. A castle that one vlad tepes was buried at. Oh yes, that would be a great deal indeed.

As his ghoul was cut down the hero galiently brandished his sword at Harry. "your minions stand in ruin Hadrian. There's nowhere left to run. I shall have my vengeance!" he prepared a mighty charge.

"Foolish boy!" 'Hadrian yelled. He let loose a weak wave of magic. Not enough to do any damage but enough to knock the man on his ass. "You have not seen the last of the Dark lord Hadrian!" and with a bit of flash powder and quickly dropping his proxy through a trap door the 'dark lord' disappeared. Leaving frustrated adventurers behind. Harry chuckled at his antics. He loved how everything that seemed boorishly overdone when he was a young man now made his life so easy.

Harry sighed contentedly… well he would have if he had lungs. Yes things were going quite according to plan. In a few short centuries he'd be moving into a new castle. He might even bring back old Vlad and see if he really drank blood. Anything to pass the time in his dreary existence. Being a lich meant he had plenty of time to do… anything really. Immortality was funny that way. It meant you had plenty of time for the important things in life. Like family, friends, world domination, creating your very own race of genetically altered midgets because you read to much Tolkien that one time. Really it's the little things that make death worth living these days. It also meant he had the opportunity to fall in and out of sanity. Those were the fun centuries. The hobbits were doing wonderfully these days. A few more generations and he could reenact the whole of 'The Hobbit'. right down to the dragon under a mountain. Though finding a dragon these days _was_ going to be tricky.

Harry was fairly deep in his musings. So deep that he didn't notice the bright blue portal that had opened behind him. Only when he began to feel a tug on his spine did he finally look up from his knitting and by that time it was far too late.


End file.
